..this party is old and uninviting.. [entries|friends|calendar] lora [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/57455.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> | 4 bite marks </td> </tr> NEW LJ [11 Jun 2004|01:19pm] Just for the record, I have created another LJ account. I was sick and tired of random people [with similar interests] adding me and reading my stuff. Therefore if you are all as cool as I think you are. x_falloutgirl_x Add me :) xoxo

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/57282.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> </td> </tr> [11 Jun 2004|12:32am] [ mood | hurt/angry ] [ music | Mr. Wednesday ] Just got home from the Mr. Wednesday gig at Supermild. I am numb. And careless- disrespectful of other peoples feelings. And it's such a shame that he was the person to cause all the friction. This numbing surreal[ness]. Hurting and sinking and spinning. [All the time] I still pretend that things are okay. [G][E][T] [O][U][T] [O][F] [M][Y] [H][E][A][D] Your not worth it.. Nothing was ever worth it.. The relationship was a flop, a fluke, a flaw. And what exists of you now in my head are bad memories. Fights. Arguments. Lies {from you constantly} My mood allows me to look at people in disgust. But I am just the same as them, if not, lower. Until now everything was fine,, Until now everything was great. I don't mean to winge. But bus trips home at midnight are so lonley. 'These fatal flaws are getting too much..' [well said]

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/56901.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> | 6 bite marks </td> </tr> fuck this bleeding heart of mine [10 Jun 2004|10:36am] [ mood | fuck it all ] [ music | 'the rides over, farewell..' ] We argued last night, all because of her. All because she can't keep her big mouth shut about things that aren't even the slightest bit relating or relevant to her whatsoever. She is nothing but a shit stirring eighteen year old child, used for a few one night stands. .I am not worked up. "I'm always having to put up with your shit and complaining" ..he says this as if I think I'm perfect or faultless. "Just, get over it" ..if he had been through even a quater of the shit I went thru with him [in a totally overrated but at the time exciting secret relationship, and yes, fire red is necissary..].. If this WERE the case, then perhaps this statement wouldn't have seemed so bold and out of context. But, he hasn't. So the heartless, concluding fuckhole strikes again..! I don't care if he reads this. I am not hurt, by him. I am hurt by the other, still. And it's that weakness in which he proceeded to focus on. Just as I pick on his weaknesses, he discovered my biggest flaw. . He says these things like he knows me. Like he understands where I am coming from or how it feels. He has never gotten close enough to someone to hurt the amount that I did. A three week series of pointless and emotionless one night stands with a girl with a black heart doesn't count.. I suppose today is one of those days, where you realise that half the people you know dont really understand you as much as you think..

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/56599.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> | 10 bite marks </td> </tr> [09 Jun 2004|09:54pm] [ mood | surveylicious ] [ music | Come As You Are - Nirvana ] ( I'm cool cuz I like tea and rice [and stuff] )

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/56436.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> | 2 bite marks </td> </tr> [09 Jun 2004|05:29pm] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | none ] Buying the puppy is never an idea I will regret or take back, but I really wish I had gotten some sleep last night before a series of Japanese examinations this morning.. But somebody wouldn't stop squealing until they were curled up warmly, spanning majority distance across my sheets and pillow. And somebody wasn't content until they had chewed on both my hair and my t-shirt for a considerable number of minutes.. I finished at 11:30, therefore slept the rest of the afternoon. Jo came to visit at three, and I slept right thru until he went home somewhere near five-thirty. Because I am selfish like that. xxx

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/56109.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> | 7 bite marks </td> </tr> [08 Jun 2004|09:31pm] Oh my. Tonight my dad entered the study whilst I was revising and running in behind him comes little Jack. Safe and well. And now we are keeping him. I swear this has been such an emotional fuckaround. But I'm so glad he's back to stay, and pissing all over the lounge room furniture. xxx

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/55969.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> </td> </tr> [08 Jun 2004|07:50pm] [ music | Massive Attack ] So deathtogretchen lightened my mood one hundred percent this morning after a beautiful and filling breakfast consisting of yummy pancakes [cooked by myself, the pancake queen] and a pot of hot earl grey with blue flowers / chai tea. We sat outside amongst nature and talked about things, people and places. Today I had a hair cut, another random, spontaneous, unplanned like occasion. No real dramatic change, just shorter and messier.. again. This afternoon also included a photo shoot with all of those 'pose and look down at the floor' in hope to look elegant and graceful digital camera shots.. I also got some new burnt cd's thanks to the lovely snowflake girl. Now I can fall asleep to the mellow sounds of Massive Attack and wake up smiling.. Overall a day that has seem to flown by.. and now it's time to cram for my last exam, an oral on foods and festivities.

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/55634.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> | 1 bite mark </td> </tr> [08 Jun 2004|09:45am] [ mood | jack.. ] So it's official that we had to get rid of Jack the puppy. Apparently he spent the entire night at my sister's, sick and yelping for majority of the night. It probably is better that we take him back to the shop, so then someone who has alot of time for a pet can buy him.. My mother is now being such a weak fuck. She's trying to bribe me into going to a Mr. Wednesday gig at Supermild this week, sucking up is so pathetic.. all because she feels bad about making a fucked up mistake in the first place.. I just want my dog.

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/55516.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> | 3 bite marks </td> </tr> [07 Jun 2004|10:04pm] [ mood | fuck dads grr I HATRE HIM ] [ music | none ] So tonight has turned out to be most upsetting. My dad disaproved on the entire, 'Surprise! We bought a two hundred dollar puppy at the spare of the moment and called it Jack..' idea, and is apparently making us return it to the pet store first thing Wednesday morning.. where little Jack will once again rest alone in a glass encloser. I hate my dad. I hate him so so much [I sound so emo] I dislike him not just for taking my dog away, but for being a shitty father and a bad role model to me. He doesn't respect me, to him I don't even exist. All he cares about is his superficial self and the sad pathetic sappy job and life in which he leads. My feelings don't matter. Whether or not I am upset isn't relevant either. Because he is always right, and he can never listen to anybody else's opinion. Tonight we faught like we have never faught before. Unlike my mother, cursing at him like an angry teenager, I tried to be civilized and hold an in depth, proper conversation with the man. As soon as I approached I was told to leave the room, amongst other things, and all I had done was knocked on the door.. Makes me feel so worthless when he disregards what I think or say just because he is older. If anything I am the bigger person than he. Tonight he ignored us, ate dinner alone, drank his way through an entire bottle of red wine and then decided to abuse me some. Getting the dog as a random purchase might not have been the wisest choice, but it sucks how I love it so much already, I'm attached and it pissed on my bed linen. He's yelling at my mum now, like the big fat sad fuck that he is.. all because he disagrees.. the fact that I am crying having another thing taken away doesn't matter. There is no reasoning with this one. He's never here anyway, always away drinking and eating expensive meals on work trips away, so what difference does it make whether or not we have Jack here. None, whatsoever. But he is just so wrapped up in his own world he can't see past his stuborn fuckpantness. The night has never felt so long. Father's must be shot.

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/55087.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> </td> </tr> WOWIE..! [07 Jun 2004|05:54pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | none but yay for puppies ] After school mother dear and I went to the shops and... tada...BOUGHT A PUPPY!! How unexpected! His name is Jack. He's a chocolate brown golden labrador [weird huh] and he has bright blue eyes to match. He is just adorable. And I love him.. That's all for today. xxx

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/54557.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> | 7 bite marks </td> </tr> [06 Jun 2004|01:50pm] I feel like shit.

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/54320.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> | 9 bite marks </td> </tr> green and lonley [06 Jun 2004|01:26pm] [ mood | fucked ] [ music | wolf at the door- radiohead ] I love Nic. I love Thom. I love Rani and Tristan. And I love Brooke, Jo and Jo-shoe-a. But what goes up must come down. Last night I loved everyone. I was as admirable and contented as anything, without a care or worry in the world. I danced, a jumped around like a lunatic. Sometimes the lights hurt my eyes. We went to Supermild. Us being Thom, Rani, Tris, Nic, Jo, Vanessa, Brooke, Sasha, Holly and Vivian and I. [Everyone go to Supermild on Thursday Night at 10 for a free Mr. Wednesday gig] Vanessa was sick. We went to Shotz and I began to adore everyone. I will marry Jo one day I think. He looked after me like an angel. We danced and hugged and kissed like little children. Nic was sick too. I passed out on a bed with Jo talking about men in green trucks wearing facepaint. I started to cry when I couldn't find any pants to wear and again when I couldn't support my body weight properly and my neck kept giving way. Last night Thom's bumhole was happy. Soon me and the dear boy will eat milkshakes and drink burgers. WE SAW JOSH..! And he danced with us to Every You Every Me. I just forgot how to spell every.. I love Radiohead. My teeth keep grinding and chattering/ From this day forward I am a vegetarian, I am testing how long I can stick to anything out of ruetine. It's hard to keep a straight face and pretend that I'm okay when I can't keep still and my jaw is continiously locked. Today the world is a wonderful place and it doesn't feel as if anything is really happening.

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/54102.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> | 2 bite marks </td> </tr> [05 Jun 2004|01:57pm] I ended up finishing school at 11 instead of 12:30 yesterday which was too my pleasing. I went to have lunch with mother and an old friend of her's. We had Indian. I ordered $4 worth of plain rice and some garlic naan bread. I met Kylie at five. We visited Aisia at work and got free warm chocolate cookies. Then we saw Sian in the mall. and I met Akira. And then Kylie went home and me and Sian ran back to her place to meet Nic after looking at electric keyboards. Sian cut some of my hair. Then we made rice in the rice cooker. And then we went to get alcohol and Nicole proposed to me at the bottle-o and gave me a plastic twenty cent ring and everything. Then we all met at the Underground for the Muscats Vs. The Jerks alleyway gig. which was ontop of the car park of truscott high fi. we also went to FAD. and then... we were drunk and i fell over in the elevator and got questioned by a cop and ran away and then we lost sian. Enigma was good, and Supermild was relaxing and then Jo stayed the night and we watched the Texas Chainsaw Mascacre. And tonight I am seeing Thom, Nic, Tris, Staci, Brooke, Jo and others.. And that's all I can remember written down in little detail because I am riushing.

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/53770.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> </td> </tr> poo poo head miserable lora [04 Jun 2004|12:34pm] [ mood | careless ] [ music | something I can never have ] It seems it has become ruetine to eat Dim Sims after every exam over the last week, because Dim Sims are yum.. This morning was biology. And I didn't know what a 'Villie' was nor did I understand trick multiple choice questions.. Tonight is a girly night out [so it seems] I've decided to see Jo only one night this weekend, due to his recent shit, 'I'm such a failure'/ depressing moods.. I don't have time for any of it. Especially when I am giving unnessisary sympathy which doesn't even seem to be noticed. Because I am selfish, and nasty and careless and whether or not I see him right now doesn't bother me a great deal. This post may seem bitchy, and uncalled for, or irregular.. which ever of the big words you chose to describe it.. but today I am unhappy and I just want to drink tea and red wine and eat hot steamed rice with [someone] And I want to listen to music. I nearly dried up on the tram without my discman.. and I hate pins and needles also. Im whining. Only because I can, because those who know me well know that I rarely pout or vocalise my horrid thoughts publicly.. but today.. I want strawberry milk. And today, I will buy hair dye. And today, I want panadol for my migrane. Ha, goodbye forever xxx

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/53742.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> </td> </tr> [03 Jun 2004|09:25pm] I like The Red Sun Band

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/53358.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> | 2 bite marks </td> </tr> [03 Jun 2004|07:22pm] [ music | eskimo joe ] Violent hitting, throwing of objects in faces or vicious play fighting always leads to sex, it's just the way things go.. Lora: What are you thinking..? Jo: I'm thinking I really want you .. Lora: *Whispers*, How much...? Jo: Lots. Lora: Hahahaha It feels as if everything in life is finally falling into it's proper place. Study is okay. He is addictive And I have a crush on a female. It's cool to watch guys kiss. Today I intended to apply black nail polish to Jo's fingernails.. But I got side tracked..

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/52436.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> | 2 bite marks </td> </tr> i guess you thought you had the flavour [03 Jun 2004|10:03am] [ mood | loved ] [ music | this picture ] I'm eating fruit, a mandarine to be precise. Because fruit is good for you.. Today is my one exam{less} day for the week. Minus Swat-Vac Monday. At 1:30pm I am meeting Alyse for tea inbetween her classes. I think she is addicted to Big Brother uncut. {My bed smells like you, because you have spent the last few afternoons in it. You are not a useless waste of space, or a failure of a human being on that note. Your insecurities are admirable. And I will try not to be too mean to you on future visits. I forgive you for the mishaps [which at this point in time are irrelevant] Yesterday was fun filled. So don't be sad. 'And I can't sleep without your breathing..' Everything seems empty now that your gone. I miss you jomar I heart you muchly. xxx} Come back to me someday.

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/52192.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> | 4 bite marks </td> </tr> [02 Jun 2004|05:57pm] I want to kiss Kylie Tomorrow I am meeting Alyse for food and hopefully tea Jo just left. It was a, nice visit. :) I'm in the basement baby, drive on by. I just slipped over in the hallway and smacked my lower back against a wooden something, oh how it was funny.. Jyo-shoe-a is my wife. Lets hope he gets better soon so we can drink tea and play dolls together.. No school tomorrow. Just to stress it again, no school tomorrow [Ha Jo] Who ditches sex for footy. GOODBYE xxx Hold your breath and count to ten start again, start again.

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/51884.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> | 6 bite marks </td> </tr> [02 Jun 2004|02:50pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | In your head- The Panics ] i am: queen i think: i love girls i want: some wine i know: stuff i have: to itch my eye i wish: i could make out with everyone :P i hate: judgmental fuckpants i miss: gigs i fear: circus's i feel: warm i smell: like blueberry lipgloss i crave: sex i will : buy some more tea i wonder: what Brian Molko is doing right now? i regret: nothing i love: jo, nic, thom, tris, sian the rice freak i care: about myself i am not: addicted to cigarettes i believe: in pixies i sing: in the shower i cry: not very often i fight: lots :) i win: everything i lose: never i never: lie i confuse: people i should go: and buy some rice i need: aniseed lozengers

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] +"45%">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="mid" colspan="2"+"45%" bgcolor="#EEEEFF" class="comments"> <a href="http://elegant-loralai.livejournal.com/51647.html?mode=reply"><b>bite me</b></a> | 1 bite mark </td> </tr> well.. this is what happened.. [02 Jun 2004|02:09pm] [ mood | Blank ] [ music | 1979 THe SmashING PumPkinS ] - This morning I failed a math exam. - I Saw a real cute girl on the tram - I Studied for Friday's biology exam - I pretended to go to uni - I jumped in one puddle - I fell in one puddle -Got my pants and shoes incredibly wet -Got lost in Coles -Cut my leg open and had to spend   my lunch money on band-aids - Lost my school tie [I think] -Ate sushi in town with mum for lunch -Ran out of Earl Grey + Blue Flowers tea -Missed the beeline bus, twice.. -Got caught in the rain -Got distrort in the market -Played infront of my bus stop with my  blue umbrella. -Lost my headphones [I think, again] -Messaged Alyse - Err, studied some more -And yelled at my dog The happenings of my day today. In other news, I finished this morning at 11, and have the entire day off tomorrow. Depending on others, town is a strong possibility. I hope it rains, because I love days like today. I shall do whatever strikes my fancy at the time.. Jo the biscuit thief is coming for another visit this afternoon. I should study, or eat.

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